I accepted the invitation  from the one  who disrespected me a lifetime ago;  that young girl  remembered,  watched quietly,  waiting for the apology  that never came, only more disregard,  and I wondered why I was there.  I thought I brought kindness,  but gave access instead. I remembered the sweetness,  ignored the behavior the rejection,  then…

I strain to see,  how my feet will land –  on solid ground, wave, or zephyr.

One person  who is two, the outside / the inside,  one is  guarded to defend,  the other  hidden to protect. From the outside looking in,  camouflaged smile, practiced handshake,  pleasantly interactive,  affable but aloof woman; from the inside looking out, observing, detecting, data collecting, analyzing survivor.