I strain to see,  how my feet will land –  on solid ground, wave, or zephyr.

One person  who is two, the outside / the inside,  one is  guarded to defend,  the other  hidden to protect. From the outside looking in,  camouflaged smile, practiced handshake,  pleasantly interactive,  affable but aloof woman; from the inside looking out, observing, detecting, data collecting, analyzing survivor.